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But when someone tried to kill me and I wanted to appeal for Diadot, that was a different matter.Clothes were brushed, hair combed, and I was ushered in to the presence of the King. My two minders (Alkena and Avril) were allowed in as well to help me through the proper procedures. In the event the King brushed aside most of the established protocol. I had to bow of course, but then he simply asked “So you want to appeal for Diadot? Are you sure? This man tried to kill you. He seems to feel you lower the tone of the place. I can see what he means” ‘oh, thanks’ I thought “I mean you seem to see rutting as good fun, what else do you do? Roll in dung?” The court dutifully laughed like this was the best joke from Bob Hope or something.I smiled, then replied “The ladies seem to appreciate my more fulsome appreciation of their bodies, sire. As to this crazy guy who attacked me, I cannot but feel guilty if he is punished for his lunacy, so I needs must apply if this is the only way to save. He asked, “What are all those clocks?”St. Peter replied, “Those are lie clocks. Everyone on earth has a lie-clock. Every time you lie the hands on the clock will move.”“Oh,” said the man as he pointed at one of them, “Whose clock is that?”St. Peter replied, “That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”“That’s incredible,” said the man.St. Peter pointed to another clock, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe only told two lies in his entire life.”The man was impressed, and then asked, “Where’s Donald Trump’s clock?”St. Peter said, “His clock is in Jesus’ office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”A Mexican kid meets Donald Trump and says to him, “I want to be President one day.”Trump says, “Are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you retarded?”The kid replies, “You know what, I’ve changed my mind. Those are too many requirements.”Donald Trump has decided to take just $1 as his salary.
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